


Broken Roof

by Just_Ciel



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/F, abuse implications, post-redemption au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 19:43:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4799909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_Ciel/pseuds/Just_Ciel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jasper gets angry at Lapis Lazuli for fusing them into Malachite. Lapis tries to figure out why her partner is upset by it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Roof

**Author's Note:**

> While sex is mentioned in this story, it doesn't actually happen. Might do so in a later follow up story if I get the feel for it again though.

Jasper frowned, chewing on her bottom lip uncertainly. Lapis was of likewise same mood, rubbing the back of her neck as she looked everywhere but at her partner.

They both glanced up at the jagged skylight they had custom made in the climax of their passion.

Neither said anything for a while. Till a cracked slate slipped from the gaping hole overhead and shattered loudly on the wooden floor between the gems. That prompted one of them to speak up at last.

“How are we gonna explain this to the others?” Lapis murmured, finally making eye contact with the large striped gem.

However the broken roof seemed to be the last thing on Jasper’s mind as evidenced by the scowl and narrowed glare she had, directly aimed at the blue gem. She clenched her fists a few times before she finally snarled out her annoyance.

“You…fused with me,” Jasper spat the ‘f’ word with distaste. “You know how I feel about that!”

Lapis flinched, immediately looking down at her feet, unable to meet her partner’s gaze. “I…I know, I’m sorry…it was an accident but…”

Now it was her turn to sneer in return as she raised her head at Jasper.

“But, your gem was glowing! What did you think would happen then?” she huffed out. “That I wouldn’t fuse with you?”

Immediately Lapis regretted her words once she noticed the hurt expression on Jasper’s face.

The giant gem bit her lip again, hunching her shoulders as she rubbed her arms. Lapis recognized this as a way of Jasper attempting to calm herself when she was starting to get upset.

“I…I trusted you,” Jasper trembled. “After so long, I thought I could trust you again. I willingly gave up myself to you because you gave me your complete faith and confidence you’d never do this to me ever again…That you wouldn’t hurt me anymore.” she finished with a sad look in her eyes.

“Jasper, I…” Lapis reached out but her partner hastily smacked her hand away.

“DON’T TOUCH ME LAPIS! THAT’S THE LAST THING I WANT FROM YOU RIGHT NOW!” Jasper roared, baring her toothy fangs.

“T-the Malach- th- it…you know what? J-Just stay away right now, please?” she stammered out next, unable to contain the quaver in her voice. Jasper then power walked off into the nearby bathroom, presumably to have a sense of a safe enclosed space where she could try to relax herself.

Lapis let out a disgruntled sigh as she heard the door slam and shook her head, placing her hands on her hips. Great. Now look what you’ve done now, you stupid idiot.

She did honestly feel little bad for causing such a bad reaction in Jasper. But honestly, how could have she known to begin with? From those long years after the unfusing of Malachite, they had stayed separate; still fueled with bitterness for each other. It was only via Steven’s encouragement and involvement that they had come to slowly reconcile once again, regaining each others’ trust.

But they never forgot Malachite.

Lapis (with a sick twist of her stomach) couldn’t let go the fact that she had relished in being her. That she had enjoyed being in control for once, unwilling Jasper at her mercy…how confident she had felt in that form…

Admittedly that’s why she gave into the moment when they were having their passion, she had hoped to revisit that time albeit where her partner was willing.

But Jasper didn’t feel the same as it turned out. Lapis knew that fusion had affected her, but she had no idea how that badly it was till now. She wished they had honestly sat down and talked about this much sooner. She felt very guilty indeed.

How could she even make this up to her?

Lapis fidgeted in place, restlessly moving her feet up and down. She glanced towards the bathroom and made up her mind. She definitely didn’t want this to end on a somber note so she headed towards the room, hesitating just before the door. The blue gem took a deep breath then stepped inside.

She found Jasper bent over a tub full of water, contemplating about dipping her fingers in it. The large gem raised a hand towards the water then drew it back with an angry huff. I guess she wanted to see if a bath would calm her down…but even now the idea of fully submerging any part of her must still make her nervous, I suppose…Lapis mused to herself as she watched.

Finally she spoke up, very gently “Jasper…can we talk?”

The taller gem’s shoulders tensed up at the sound of her voice then relaxed as Jasper slowly turned her head. When she didn’t say anything in response, Lapis cautiously stepped bit closer.

“I…I just wanted to say that I’m very sorry,” Lapis sighed. “About what happened back there, I mean.”

No reply. Jasper resumed her finger tracing alongside the edge of the tub, still avoiding contact with the actual water.

Lapis swallowed nervously, she hoped it wouldn’t come to this but she needed to know.

“…Did being part of Malachite really hurt you, Jasper?”

There was a long hush of silence. A slight tremor shook Jasper’s body. Then very slowly, she turned around with such an anguished face that Lapis’ throat tightened at the sight of it.

“I still have nightmares about her, Lapis.”

The blue gem bowed her head in shame as Jasper turned away from her bitterly. “I…I just want to say I am so so-”

“Don’t bother,” Jasper snapped back. “Don’t even…you didn’t go through the same pains I did! You made her in the first place! You caused it all so don’t even fucking bother trying to sympathize with me!”

Lapis wanted to make a retort about how it wasn’t all her fault and Jasper was part of the blame too but seeing the orange gem in such distress made her hold her tongue.

A tense quietness filled the atmosphere between the two, ready to snap at any time. Lapis nervously fiddled with her hands while Jasper had started breathing quickly and heavily.

Then a thought struck Lapis, a thought so thrilling and daring, that it made her shiver. But would Jasper go for it? The gem obviously needed an outlet right now to vent her frustrations through but would she even consider it?

Better now than never, I guess. Lapis exhaled as she prepared to say her idea outloud.

“…Would you like to hurt me as much you were hurt?”

“…What?”

That got Jasper’s attention, she whirled around almost incredulously, as if she couldn’t believe what she had just been suggested.

“…Are you fucking crazy?” she snarled. “What makes you think I even want to do that to you?”

“I…I…” Lapis stammered. This was certainly not the sort of response she expected from someone she knew who held grudges for a very long time. “B-but I thought…I just, I thought it would make you feel better to do the same to me for what I did to you in the past…”

“Oh jeez,” Jasper groaned, rubbing a hand down her face. “Honestly Lapis…you know another me, in another time, I would have jumped on this but now?”

She gazed at Lapis now with tender eyes. “I’m not that person anymore…and neither you are, you know that. We both know that.”

“But, you were so upset about the fusion thing,” Lapis protested. “I just-”

“Of course I was!” Jasper grimaced. “And I still am actually, you…you just did it with no warning at all. I-I didn’t like that very much.”

“I told you! It was an accident-”

“Fucking liar,” Jasper crossed her arms. “Have you even grasped why I’m really upset about this? Because I know and you know too, you did that on purpose.”

Lapis was indignant but the words were stuck in her throat. Because Jasper was correct.

“…Jank it,” the blue gem groaned in frustration. “I don’t even know…how can I fix this?”

“You can start with admitting the damn truth,” Jasper offered.

The truth was harder than Lapis thought but eventually she spoke; saying how she had deliberately given in when the gems glowed the first time. And (this part she was more hesitant in telling) how it felt being Malachite, the confidence it gave her as she was in control. But in this way she realized the darker implications and understood now how Jasper was very upset by the fusion, having been more of a victim than an actual consensual part of it.

This time Lapis now genuinely apologized for taking the fatal assumption that since she and Jasper were on better terms now, they’d both enjoy being Malachite again but that was not to be the case.

Jasper was satisfied with this answer.

So it was with confusion and disappointment on Lapis’ part when the large gem abruptly stood up and left the room. She had hoped this conversation would mend things and maybe even pick up from where they left off.

But Jasper was still too raw, not tonight, she still didn’t want any sort of touch just yet again.

Tomorrow though, she promised, they would do it tomorrow.

For now she was more worried about how to explain the hole in the ceiling to the crystal gems when they returned.


End file.
